Reasons why being able to initiate conversation is important:
- Helps build relationships
- Makes you a happier person
- Is healthy for human development
- You can meet people you never thought you would before
- Essential for any job position
The first step to initiating conversation is finding a common interest or connection with whom you are trying to start a conversation with. One example is if you are in a class with this person you can find a very surface level topic to talk about like the teacher, the homework or a test in the class. This is a common ground and something you can talk about that isn't too personally and is usually pretty easy to hold up a conversation with. Many people find themselves lost for words when trying to speak to someone new, and that is why finding a common ground is so effective because there should always be something you can connect to and talk more about.
The next step is exchanging names. If you make it too formal, this can seem awkward and forced, a casual "Oh by the way my name is ____." always works because most of the time they will answer with their name, and if for some reason they don't it's very simple. The reason why this step is so important is because once you have exchanged names with someone after a conversation it means you have built an acquaintance. This is the first step to building an actual relationship.
Things to keep in mind while initiating a conversation,
- Stay relaxed
- Keep the first conversation light and easy to engage in
- Don't over think the conversation and be yourself
(These three rules are important because the person that you will be talking to, can feel anxious or uncomfortable if you feel uncomfortable while initiating the conversation.)
Another very important factor to engaging in conversation is non-verbal communication. Many things people do not think about when talking to someone but are just as important as what you say. Eye-contact and facial expressions can show someone that you are sincerely interested in what they are saying. If someone feels as though you are interested in what they have to say, they are more likely to open up and be engaged in the conversation and be interested.
Lastly, exiting your first interaction with someone: If you know you are going to see the person again then all that is really necessary is a friendly, "I'll see you around" if you are very interested in talking to the person again, make sure you make a comment about the next time you plan to talk to them or see them next. If you are not going to see the person again and you feel the conversation has been going well, you have a couple options. The low risk low reward option is asking if the person has Facebook and what their name is on Facebook. This will give you another opportunity to talk to them again if you want but not much pressure and very common. The high risk/high reward option is asking for a phone number. This is always a tough situation for people to be put in, especially if you do not feel comfortable initiating a conversation in the first place. A simple way to get the phone connection is saying something like, "You can just take my number down if you want to meet up or talk again?" This way you don't feel the pressure to contact them and you could potentially see if they are interested in seeing you again.
Some things to keep in mind during the first interaction is again, BE YOURSELF. You are not trying to impress the world here. People will love to meet you if you show the true side of yourself. Make sure you don't self-disclose too much because people will be off put, but open up. Every person out there in the world who you haven't met isn't judging you, they are just an opportunity to meet someone who could end up having a huge connection with you. Step outside your comfort zone and the results will be very rewarding!
-Raboin
No comments:
Post a Comment