Listening is More Than Hearing

Many people do not know the difference between hearing and listening.  Listening is the process of making meaning out of another person's spoken message.  In non-wordy terms, listening is more than hearing the words someone is saying, but it's also making meaning of what they are saying and thinking about it.  For example, have you ever had an experience when you are telling someone a story or trying to ask someone a question but they are too busy looking at their phone's or watching TV.  Then you say something like, "Are you even listening to me?" And your friend usually responds, "Yes of course I'm listening I heard everything you said" This is an example of how a lot of the time people hear your words but are distracted and not consciously thinking about what you are saying, meaning they are not listening.

Listening is not that same as hearing

The reason why listening is such an important concept is because listening is used so often for so many things.  In the workplace if someone asks you to do something and you are not actively listening, then you could miss some very important information for the job.  If your good friend tells you something important, and you are not effectively listening, then more problems will start occurring in the relationship.

Many people believe that their listening skills are much better then they actually are.  Why is this? Well, many people think listening is effortless and  and easy when in reality it takes focus and work to be good listener.  To be a better listener people should follow the stages of effective listening. These stages are the ideal process of how someone should listen effectively.

- Hearing: This is the first step in the listening process that is most common and obvious.  It involves hearing the words or sentences that someone is saying to you.  Remember that you can hear someone, without actually listening to them when we become bored, tired, or simply uninterested.

- Understanding:  Next is understanding what the person is trying to say to you. When you do not fully understand what someone is saying, it is always better to ask then make assumptions.  If you make assumptions, then you won't get the full meaning of what the message is actually saying.

- Remembering: The third step of effective listening is remembering or being able to recall past information.  It happens all the time when you forget a person's name or forget where they are from.  The reason why people forget names is because the first time you meet someone, if you are not listening thoroughly then you will not be able to store the information and remember it later.

- Interpreting: This is the act of taking what the person said and thinking about it and how you preceived their message.  Interpreting requires the person listening to pickup on all verbal and non-verbal behaviors that the person speaking is giving off.

-  Evaluating: Evaluating is simply the time where someone takes time to think before they speak.  This is the time to review how you feel about the message sent to you and what you want to say back.

- Responding: The last step is the most simple, the act of taking the message sent to you and sending it back.  Responding doesn't always have to be verbal but can be non verbal if the person speaking does not expect a reply.

These few steps are the keys to being a great listener.  Obviously you cannot follow all these steps every time you are listening to someone,  but they are good ideas to strive to use when listening.  The importance of listening is extreme and shows up everywhere you will go.  Whether it's at a job, or building a relationship, effective listening is a must. Take these simple steps and apply them to the next conversation you are in. You can feel the difference of hearing and listening right away and understand why listening is so important.

-Raboin